CAN YOU F#*KERS READ: RANRU RELEASES A ROUGH DRAFT EXCERPT FROM HIS BOOK "POOR AINT ME"

"GOOD MORNIN' MOM" NICE SAID WALKING PASS HIS HUNG OVER MOTHER, SPRAWLED ACROSS THE LIVING ROOM SOFA. NICE STOOD NEAR THE END OF THE SOFA FOR A FEW SECONDS & WAITED FOR A RESPONSE TO HIS HELLO. NOTICEABLY WASTING VALUABLE TIME NICE YELLED OUT “MOM" HIS YELL WAS INCREDIBLY LOUD, IT WOKE HER INSTANTLY. "WHAT… WHAT… IM UP" SHE SAID WHILE FORCING HERSELF TO OPEN HER EYES. IN WHAT EVENTUALLY TURNED OUT TO BE A FAILED ATTEMPT TO LAY EYES ON HER NOW IRATE & YELLING SON. DISTRACTED & BLINDED BY THE SUNLIGHT THAT FILLED THE LIVING ROOM SHE QUICKLY COVERED HER BARELY SLIT EYES WITH ONE HAND TRYING TO BLOCK OUT THE SUN COMING FROM THE OPENED DOOR THAT NICE CONVENIENTLY LEFT OPEN. STANDING AT THE EDGE OF THE SOFA SCROLLING THRU HIS CELLPHONE, WAITING ON SOME SORT OF ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF HIS EXISTENCE.

SCROLLING THRU HIS PHONE WAS A STRESS RELIEVER. ANYTIME NICE WAS BORED , UPSET OR SIMPLY THINKING HE WOULD PULL OUT HIS CELLPHONE AND THOUGHTLESSLY SCROLL THRU HIS CONTACTS, APPS, PICTURES. WHATEVER... IT DIDNT MATTER WHAT HE WAS SCROLLING THRU. SOMETIMES HE DID THIS FOR HOURS. FINALLY HIS MOTHER EYES BEGAN TO OPEN AND SHE COULD NOW SEE HER SON STANDING OVER HER. SCROLLING THRU HIS PHONE WITH THAT IDENTICAL LOOK OF HIS FATHERS IRRITATION ON HIS FACE. SHE HATED THAT NICE LOOKED AND OFTEN ACT LIKE HIS FATHER. SEARCHING HER HUNG OVER HEAD FOR THE RIGHT WORDS SHE SUCCESSFULLY FORCED OUT “SHIT, WHY YOU YELLIN' BOY? AND PLEASE SHUT MY DAMN DOOR”. NICE DIDNT EVEN BOTHER TO RESPOND HE JUST STOOD THERE SHAKING HIS HEAD IN DISGUST. HE HATED WHEN HIS MOM DRANK ALCOHOL, SHE WOULD OFTEN GO ON DRINKING BINGES. SOMETIMES FOR WEEKS AT A TIME. MOST TIMES HER ALCOHOLIC BINGES LANDED HER IN JAIL AND IN A FEW CASES THE HOSPITAL.

SNAPPING BACK TO REALITY, NICE PLACED HIS CELLPHONE BACK INTO ITS LOUIS VUITTON CASE, THEN LEANED OVER THE OLD COUCH TO KISS HIS MOTHER ON THE CHEEK. WHILE CLOSING THE DOOR NICE LOOKED OVER HIS SHOULDER AT HIS MOM “I SEE YOU BEEN DRINKING AGAIN”. NOT EVEN WAITING FOR A RESPONSE TO HIS RHETORICAL QUESTION NICE CLOSED THE DOOR AND CONTINUED WALKING THRU THE LIVING ROOM INTO THE KITCHEN. AFTER STOPPING AT THE FRIDGE TO CHECK FOR LEFTOVERS NICE CONTINUED HIS JOURNEY THRU THE KITCHEN TO THE DOOR THAT LED TO THE BASEMENT. EVERY MORNING AROUND THE SAME TIME LIKE CLOCK WORK NICE WOULD VISIT HIS MOTHER’S HOME TO CHECK ON HIS STASH. HE NEVER STAYED LONG, MOST DAYS HE WOULD USE HIS KEY TO THE BACKDOOR AND GO STRAIGHT INTO BASEMENT WITHOUT MAKING HIS PRESENCE KNOWN TO ANYONE INCLUDING HIS MOTHER & ESPECIALLY THE NEIGHBORS.

NICE OPENED THE DOOR TO THE BASEMENT AND CAREFULLY WALKED DOWN THE ROTTED WOOD STEPS, MAKING SURE THAT HE WAS VERY CAREFUL AND CONSCIENCE OF EVERY SINGLE STEP HE TOOK. HE DIDNT WANNA STEP ON THE WRONG STEP THE LAST TIME HE DONE THAT HE ALMOST BREAK HIS ANKLE. A LONG TIME AGO NICE DECIDED TO BOOBY TRAP THE BASEMENT STAIRS TO HARM ANYONE THAT DIDNT BELONG THERE. ON NUMEROUS OCCASIONS NICE WOULD BE HUNG OVER FROM A LONG NIGHT OF CLUBBING AND TOTALLY FORGET WHICH STAIRS WERE SAFE TO STEP ON… NICE COULD VIVIDLY REMEMBER THE LAST TIME HE MIS-CALCULATED HIS STEPS & BECAME A VICTIM OF HIS OWN TRAP.

"MAN, I GOTTA GET AN ALARM SYSTEM OR SOMETHING ONE DAY IM GON KILL MYSELF COMING DOWN THESE STAIRS" TALKING TO HIMSELF, WAS ANOTHER THING THAT NICE OFTEN DID. CAREFULLY REACHING FOR THE RAIL NICE FINALLY MADE IT TO THE LAST ROTTED WOOD STEP. THE BASEMENT WAS DARK, USING SHEER INSTINCT NICE WALKED OVER TO HIS STASH SPOT, HE THEN REACHED FOR HIS CELLPHONE. AFTER RETRIEVING IT FROM ITS DESIGNER CASE & ACTIVATING THE FLASHLIGHT FEATURE. THERE WERE NO LIGHTS IN THE OLD BASEMENT BECAUSE. NICE PURPOSELY GOT RIDDEN OF ALL LIGHT FIXTURES A LONG TIME AGO. HE THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO KEEP THE BASEMENT DARK IT MADE IT EXTREMELY HARD FOR THIEVES TO NAVIGATE THRU INCASE AN INTRUDER EVER TRIED TO PAY HIS STASH A VISIT.

AIMING HIS CELLPHONE’S FLASHLIGHT IN THE DIRECTION OF HIS STASH. HE TOOK A GOOD LOOK AROUND THE BASEMENT MAKING SURE EVERYTHING WAS THE WAY HE LEFT IT. OUT OF FORCE OF HABIT NICE WOULD ALWAYS CHECK AROUND THE BASEMENT TO MAKE SURE NOTHING WAS OUT OF PLACE OR MISSING, HE KNEW EXACTLY WHERE EVERYTHING WAS AND HE COULD ALWAYS TELL IF SOMETHING WAS MOVED OR TAMPERED WITH. SATISFIED WITH HIS OBSERVATION NICE REACHED UP INTO THE BASEMENT CEILING AND RETRIEVED A TIN-METAL BOX… BEING VERY CAREFUL PULLING DOWN THE SOMEWHAT HEAVY BOX FROM ITS HIDING PLACE & TRYING HIS BEST NOT TO MAKE ANY DISTINCTIVE SOUNDS THAT COULD POSSIBLY GIVE AWAY THE LOCATION OF HIS STASH TO ANYONE IN THE HOUSE.

AFTER RETRIEVING THE OLD METAL BOX NICE WALKED OVER TO THE DUSTY WOOD SHELF LOCATED UNDER THE BASEMENT STAIRS. THE SHELF WAS ATTACHED TO AN EVEN DUSTIER GREY'ISH CONCRETE WALL THAT WAS COVERED IN SPIDER WEBS. NICE SAT THE HEAVY METAL BOX ON THE SHELF HOPING THE OLD SHELF DIDNT BREAK IN TWO & FALL TO THE FLOOR. REACHING IN HIS FIFTH POCKET HE PULLED OUT A SMALL KEY & STUCK IT INTO THE KEYHOLE IN THE FRONT OF THE BOX TO OPENED IT. THE BOX WAS FILLED WITH ENVELOPES AND THE ENVELOPES FILLED WITH MONEY… MONEY HE HAD BEEN SAVING FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR. NICE LOVED THE SIGHT OF MONEY, MONEY MADE HIM FEEL POWERFUL & UNTOUCHABLE.

"LOOK AT ALL THAT PAPER" NICE MUTTERED TO HIMSELF… WHILE STARING INTO THE MONEY-FILLED METAL BOX HE NOTICED IT WAS NEARLY FULL AND HE DIDNT HAVE MUCH, IF ANY ROOM LEFT TO STASH HIS NEXT CASH DEPOSIT. "FUCK… WHERE AM I GON PUT THIS SHIT AT NOW?… THIS SHIT GOTTA FIT". REACHING INTO THE LARGE POCKET OF HIS CAMO TRUE RELIGION CARGO PANTS; NICE PULLED OUT ANOTHER STUFFED ENVELOPE WITH ALL NEW CRISPY HUNDRED DOLLAR BILLS. HE THEN ATTEMPTED TO FIT THE HUGE ENVELOPE INTO THE STASH BOX BUT FAILED. HE EVEN TRIED REORDERING THE CONTENTS OF THE BOX IN AN ATTEMPT TO MAKE A LITTLE EXTRA ROOM FOR HIS MONEY BUT IT JUST WOULDN'T FIT.

NICE JUST STOOD THEIR STARING AT THE BOX AS IF SOMETHING WOULD CHANGE. “FUCK IT” CONFUSED AND UPSET, NICE THOUGHT TO HIMSELF “I NEED A BIGGER SAFE”. AFTER PUTTING THE METAL BOX BACK IN ITS PLACE. HE THEN PLACED THE WAD OF HUNDREDS BACK INTO HIS CARGO POCKET THEN HEADED BACK UPSTAIRS. AFTER CLOSING THE BASEMENT DOOR, NICE DECIDED TO GO OUT THE BACKDOOR SO THAT HE DIDNT DISTURB HIS MOM AS SHE SLEPT. AFTER LOCKING THE BACKDOOR FROM THE OUTSIDE, NICE WALKED TO THE FRONT OF HIS MOTHER'S HOUSE AND CHECKED THE MAILBOX FOR THE MONTHLY BILLS. NICE ALWAYS PAID HIS MOTHERS BILLS. AFTER HIS FATHER LEFT HOME, IT WAS UP TO NICE TO BE THE MAN OF THE HOUSE. AND HE WAS, NICE STARTED HUSTLING TO PAY THE BILLS AT THE TENDER AGE OF 9. AND ELEVEN YEARS LATER NOT MUCH HAD CHANGED.